[Kyle's Bedroom] And Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch! [Pop] For born unto you this day in the Sea of ... David is a saviour. Kyle: You mean you can see him?!? [Cut to Commercial] Cartman: I'm not fat! [Screaming] Stan: Wow, Christmas snow! Kyle's mom, is a bitchhhhahhh. Bye and Merry Christmas! [Dramatic Music] Kyle: Mr. Hankey. Here's a game I like to play, Stick me in your mouth and try to say: Howdy Ho and yum yum yum. Mr. Garrison: Could we get rid of all the Mexicans? Where the hell did you go? Kyle: Mr. Hankey, he comes out of the toilet every year and gives presents to everybody who has a lot of fiber in their diet. And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow Brother: Mr. Hankey Construction set. Officer Barbrady: [Making it up]Yesss. Mr. Hankey: I brought some friends with me. He loves me, I love you Announcer: Then use the hand-crafted Hankey stand to add whatever eyes, mouth and hats you want. But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve Shot of shark swimming in the tank. His smell and his spirit linger on. Shot of baby eating what was Mr. Hankey. Mr. Garrison: Okay children, we've just received word from the mayor that the Christmas play can't include any Christmas lights, since they offend people with epilepsy. Crowd: Merry Christmas Kyle Broslofski! Cartman: Yeh, we'll see you later Kyle. Wendy: Yehhh. Christmas Time has come! Kyle: I'm not hearing that. Mr. Garrison: Oh, wait, wait. Kyle catches baby Jesus and grasps it by the head. Stan: What's in the box dude? Stan: Oh boy, here we go again. Mr. Broslofski: Kyle, what are you doing in there?!? [THE END]. Townsman: Wait, wait, there's a star above the stage; that's very offensive to non-Christians. Stan: Nahh, I think it's against the law dude. Followers: Hallelujah! Jimbo: And I'm sick and tired of those little flaps on coffee lids, if you don't want to spill your coffee then you shouldn't be driving with it. Kyle: Well, you're gonna be sorry when you see me riding around on Santa's sleigh with Mr. Hankey fat ass! Stan: Dude! Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo Lyrics [South Park Elementary] A group of kids are on stage. Kyle: [Singing]Hannukuh is nice, but why is it, that Santa passes over my house every year? "Kyle's Mom's a Stupid Bitch" even made it into the theatrical film South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut.. Stan, you need to do something about friend, okay. Receptionist: Any allergies? Advisory - the following lyrics contain explicit language: We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose, and we all know Frosty whose made out of snow. Mr. Broslofski: Sheila, let me handle this. Mayor McDaniels: Yes Mr. Garrison? Mom: Well, maybe this will help. Kyle is peeking from behind a tree as the other kids visit Santa. The End appears on the screen. Kenny: Oooh. Kyle: What's going on you guys? Kyle: Here he comes! Mr. Hankey: Ahhhh! Howdy Ho! Cartman: Oh boy, super bitch is at it again. [Cut to Commercial] Mayor McDaniels: Excuse me? Cartman: Is this some kind of Jewish tradition?!? [Auditorium] You, you mean Mr. Hankey. Those are very, very dangerous. Stan: Christmas poo? I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, on Christmas. Cartman: Gross Kyle! Let's sing songs and dance and play Now before I melt away. Nerd: Stupid wop dago. Mr. Hankey: Well, I've got a long night ahead of me. Do the other kids make fun of you? And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does. Kyle: Well, what could it be? Wendy: Ok. I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, I'd be merry, but I'm Hebrew, on Christmas. Wendy: Ah! Stan: What's that? Kyle: I said go away, my dad says you're not real. Church and State are separate. Kyle is let out of his cell and runs outside to join the crowd. The kids are run outside into the playground. The Ultra-Vibe Pleasure 2000. Kyle: Mr. Hankey? [Downtown South Park] Sheila: Kyle, shh. He's seen the love inside of you Kyle: I said Ike's on fire. Counselor: Right now you're nuttier than chinese chicken salad, okay. Ike is chasing his dreidel. Kyle shakes the turd. Christmas time has come. You see Kyle, sometimes we feel like an outsider, we, we create friends, okay, in our minds, okay. Officer Barbrady is directing traffic nearby. Singers: Sometimes He's runny Mr. Garrison: Well, I'm trying to direct the school Christmas Play, but your son was holding baby Jesus fetus by the head. Townsman: Good, it looks like they've taken the Christmas trees down. Wendy: Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue. You people focus so hard on the things wrong with Christmas that you've forgotten what's so right about it. Kyle: Nothing! Me?!? Stan: Why are you Jewish on Christmas Kyle? Now before I melt away. Kyle: I'm a clincally depressed fecalphiliac on Prozac. Mr Hankey, The Christmas Poo Small and Brown, he comes from you Sit on the toilet, here he comes Squeeze and tween your festive buns! Sheila: Oh my God! [Kyle's House] Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho! Sand. [Singing]Santa Claus is on his way, he's loaded goodies on his sleigh, drop 'em off on Christmas day, and I'll say howdy ho! I mean, you're one screwed up little kid, do you understand? I'm not crazy?!? Kyle walks up. Stan: The whole town's pissed of at each other, it's really sweet. Cartman: Oh good, Kyle's mom is here to ruin Christmas. It originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on December 17, 1997. She's a stupid bitch. [The Bathroom] Stick me in your mouth and try to say My friends won't let me join in any games. Mr. Hankey: Folks'll gather 'round the fire, sing a song that's from a choir, pretty soon they'll all retire and I'll say howdy ho! Mr. Hankey: Say, that sounds like a swell idea. Mr. Hankey: Stop fightin'! The Virgin Mary was sleeping When Angel Gabriel appeared. Stan: Come on dude, push! [Kyle's Padded Cell] Kyle: Shut up Cartman! How like a turtle the sun looks.... Mr. Hankey: Howdy ho! Mr. Broslofski: Say it! 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